KISS

Disclaimer: I cannot be held responsible for any break-ups between startuppers and their significant others that stems, or partly stems, from reading this article.

Forget regular the nine-to five-working hours and the expectation of having any sort of attention when the (long!) workday is over.

Forget nights out with the phone turned face-down to stop all notifications from Slack. Even when the phone gets “turned off”, expect big hugs  — it is a ploy to secretly reads all incoming messages on the Apple Watch.

Forget talking about a casual topic that does not eventually lead to work, and forget any ‘I was thinking of you’ gifts because, “I am bootstrapping and do not not think this is a necessary item”. Apart from a cameo appearance on a birthday or Valentine’s day, the presents are non-existent.

But despite all this, there are some perks.

#Incessanttalk about the world of start-ups

If you are like me, having zero knowledge about the world of startups, you will soon be learning words like ‘bootstrapping’ and ‘angels’ and ‘unicorns’  —  I mean, these are supposed to exist only in fairy tales, aren’t they?

Prepare to be sucked into a world of entrepreneurs trying to make a living from the ground up and people who are trying to get their ideas known to the world. Why would anyone in their right mind want to be in this situation?

Prepare to meet #entrepreneurs at every social event

Oh great, that guy or gal walking up with a smile and a name card already in hand?  Another entrepreneur.

“I’m trying to create something on my own”. “I have an excellent idea that nobody has ever thought of before”. “These are exciting times”. And so on, and so on, and so on…

What is a normal person to do?

So many people, so many different ideas and all are trying to stand out above the mess. Rather than have a nice gin and tonic in a quiet speakeasy bar, evenings are spent rushed into a whirling sea of energetic entrepreneurs thrusting name cards at one another.

Suddenly, there is an urge to #buildastartup of your own

It is a moment of weakness, suddenly your significant other’s world seems inviting.
The brick walls of resistance begin to crumble and a feeling of shock and shame follows the uttering of the sentence, “I am an entrepreneur”.

Ideas begin shooting out of your arse, and it is impossible to wait to start building the next project. As if in a daze, you wake up to find yourself working towards making these ideas come to life.

Worst of all, your partner supports you and urges you to follow your dreams.

But do not listen! As this will only result in you quitting your job and becoming a penniless beggar.

Your signficant other asks you to #helpthestartup

I’m a journalist (or was, see above mistake).

Whatever it is you do, your partner will manipulate this to the advantage of the company, because everything is a potential opportunity to boost the start-up.

Those scheming cogs in the mind have been turning slowly since the first date, when the inevitable talk of career fills the awkward silence as both parties search for conversation.

One day, the question is asked, “do you want help in my company?”

Because you are a kind, loving, person it is an easy decision to sacrifice your precious time to help. But this, in turn, hinders your own performance at work.

Take me for example, I ended up featuring my boyfriend’s startup in the magazine I [was] working for.

You #finallyjoin his start-up

I was weak.

I finally came aboard the ship that is OhMyGeorge which inevitably led to the release of this vitriolic.

So, make sure to promise me, whatever you do, learn from my mistake. Do not end up in the situation I find myself. For now, when I look into the mirror I see only an innocent little hummingbird in a sea of big, bad eagles.

On a less sarcastic note

Being with someone who is building a startup company opens your world to an emerging community ; one full of such individuality and creativity that it also inspires the self-belief to venture onto a different path in life.

This article was meant for humour and I quit my job to follow my dreams to do a PhD in media, creative writing and journalism and how they have changed with the digital age.

My boyfriend has given me strength to quit my repetitive job that was going nowhere and has been supportive throughout, so that’s why I’m supporting him!

Photo courtesy of New Old Stock.